And now H is so ensconced back with the Foos. Its a precursor though, for sure. The betrayed spouse cannot even comprehend what happened. As far as my own actions are concerned, I do feel Im doing the best I can. Almost. OMG SI I dont know what I would have done had I heard her name uttered in his sleep! I guess Im lucky. Seeing H again tomorrow but I feel like he is trying to work out his next move rather than work on us. Then hed ask a very personal legal question and I would respond oh my darling my lawyer has prohibited me talking about this with you. Well I knew a little bit about addiction as far as alcohol and drugs and what happened there. But take it from me it is very difficult to be thrown into the middle of things as a parent. Fu's latest offers a strange and mystical new take on the runaway bride syndrome. Even the drama is new too, as, like your situation, our life was pretty chilled. Of course, he didnt reply so I said whatsapp is getting you in a world of trouble. He says (defensively) Im not in trouble and I reply Um, beg to disagree, but yes, you are as Skank Fever is potentially fatal and he replies: Um whats skank fever, I dont understand., To which I replied: Skank Fever. So basically yes, its the same as in your case but only NOW do I understand why he wouldnt do MC or IC. And I guess thats why we are able to drive each other up the wall in the same way. So sure they say ..they love you.. in a backhanded sort of compliment way because who hates someone who says they love them? Start realizing you are an independent person dependent only on God if you are a Christian. We approve GoldenCHild having extra marital sex and lying for months about an ongoing affair. Satori And, honestly, Im not sure that I want to just forget. Now he says he wants to leave the business. Nobody sends you a card saying SORRY YOUR PARTNER BETRAYED YOU, or holds a memorial service. There is always someone on the property anyway as we have a live in manager. I would love to have seen the look on my face. I know the damage of this is permanent. Here is one example of crazy town. I cant say all the conversation was satisfactory. I sure hope Satori hasnt been run off from EAJ because of one commenters petty complaint. Im thinking of calling a meeting with him to put MC or D squarely on the table and see what happens. Ive done this sparingly, maybe 3 or 4 times now. You are right about all of it and as you say, it REALLY bothers me that he has revealed himself to be untrustworthy AND a liar. Thats not me anymore, I am in control. Wouldnt sit close to me so we could go through the documents. To have the inability to move on and allow yourself to be insulted is pointless and shows a real lack of maturity. I used to think those firm women were bitches.
It is not my job to make him happy. Hope youre doing ok. Im freaking out that even my beloved dog has caught my depression. I cycled through the stages and randomly went back to them in no order at all and repeated, repeated, repeated. Im not sure it is surmountable at this point. So when you did the post nup, is that when your H came to his senses? But there is no excuse to cheat AND destroy the other spouse. I have learned so much from the posters on here and value the thoughts & insights of kindred spirits. There is hope. They are in his corner believing he had been mistreated by you. I hear you re the dinner with couples thing. They are all there right from the script in the manual. I dont want to hope now as the sooner I get used to this feeling the sooner it will pass. In terms of self protection, Im firstly removing myself for a few days on the retreat. I don;t know if I have managed things any better. His father is in his ear. Im just holding on to the beautiful experiences I HAD in the M even though H wants to rewrite the marital history as if that was all my illusion and really it was flat out misery. Put it this way, he seemed pretty happy up until the day I put him on that plane so if in his mind there were issues then he was just using me. I dont know what that is right now. No one is perfect, yet God still loves you. I see a crack in his resolve to d with his text. She said Its like a package thats really huge and cumbersome. I recently met a woman on a dating site, Tina K, MI who did this exact thing to her husband. My H refused any counseling but did everything else. You have suffered a trauma and did what you needed to do to start healing. Do not feel you need to hide it from your grown (or smaller) children.
The worst thing is PILS + wider family scene will be told that negative stuff about me and our M as if its true to protect Hs image. As opposed to the original statement (to TFW: here are the words not the actions!!) So while my responses to them will be as per TryingHards Im fine to them all now, I already poisoned the well. Do you truly have the inclination to deal with it?? My father bless him even called my H personally and got one of his own contacts, one of the best psychologists in the country, arranged to see him but H refused to make the appointment. Right now hes scared and or defensive and ashamed and scared. Sure enough it came out. I can recount each moment of that day minute by minute. Love the life boat analogy Puzzled. Satori. Serial cheater was one, alcoholic (at 18) was another. And thats a good thing. As my 10-year-old great-grandmother stood on the bank, her mother announced, Do you see that steam ship out there? My great-grandmother nodded. My mid life crisis (if you have to call it that) was to start my own business. Yes abuse. We like to blame ourselves so we think we have control and if only we could do this or that better we can get a better response from the Sociopath. ? Aint nobody got time for that kind of talk. Of course she didnt bring it up in your prior conversation. That about killed me. Hope you had a nice break TH. I dont want to say that its taking a better course, just different. I should have stayed neutral sympathetic to her and stopped there. My lawyer has said I should put some distance in (NC) and he will follow up with email to secure obligations.Im still doing all my work as usual and making sure everything is airtight. This is a bigger decision than saying yes when your husband proposed. Looking back on it all, I wish I had simply gone 100% off the grid and silent in the very beginning just to give myself time to process the mayhem in my brain. when you fall down, So I woukd disengage. TheFirstWife there was a moment there where I actually felt sorry for him. Um, yeah well if you didnt want a fight then you should have thought about that before you decided to sleep someone else and then dump me pretending to me that its all my fault that you did. It was weird. Psuedo Mutuality. But if he leaves the business then yes, he is out. This is why. Yes, theres a lot of similarities with HS crap here in some latest discussions. Which LOL he tried to cut off but couldnt because they were in my name!!! As I said above I agree his behavior is scary. The big questions: Do we find them? I meet my H in my 20s. I also hope you can keep the business together and as I said he can always be hired back as an employee but never an owner. Fear and Anxiety Drive Conservatives' Political Attitudes, Why Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse Don't Disclose, Facts to Calm Your Fear of Death and Dying, A Blame-Free Way to Reach an Emotionally Unavailable Partner, Might Your Partner Be in Your Blind Spot? But, since I had been on my own for quite a while, there was no childhood bedroom to which I could return. 4. There are few ways to break the momentum and get your CSs clear attention. This site is the best life line everyou can just spill it all outand someone will be there for you.no matter what time of day or night. Im going to think on this all again tomorrow. After d-day he did stop all contact, but a few time he whispered her name in his sleep..I was destroyed. In the end he either gives up the OW and works on reconciling with you or there will be a divorce, right? Anyhow, thanks again for the perspective TFW. We come here, where we are not quite so aloneand all of that Rage Sorrow and Pain needs to come out one way or another. In fact, you always were and will be a complete person whether you are in a relationship or not. Her actions towards me (or lack of actions) were only beginning. I told him ok then we need to let go. The path of destruction as you say. I knew something was wrong for that year and half and tried everything in my power to find out what was wrong. He admitted he had NO idea I would fight for our marriage and him the way I did. When my h got served with paper from my lawyer he had moved to his sisters place 6 doors down from me. It actually felt like #sorrynotsorry to me! But my post-treatment mind sees things differently as per my own choices and compromises too. The idea that it is a huge blessing in disguise maybe something amazing is in the future that I cant see right now Im leaning towards that. So how is it some men have them and some dont? Luckily the business owes me a small amount of money so Im going to start my new little personal nest egg. My siblings and I were expected to perform well and there was not a lot of affection shown towards us. Click here if you want to listen to the audio recording of the interview with Vikki Stark on Runaway Spouses.
May be a breakthrough, but Im not sure where his head will lead him next. After he got off plane, (trip where he met OW) he came back with a malaria type illness. Scroll past. Your vivid description of my Hs mindset is reassuring. Handed me back his wedding ring one weekend later. I got the whole I love you but Im not in love with you blah blah blah. My dad was very controlling and my mom was submissive. Its not renege. My RAGE was all consuming!!! He told them I did nothing wrong and it was all his fault.
Ok youve done you job with regards to your h well being. I felt tempted to on-send the link to my H but Im sure it would only be seen as provocative. Hmmm.]. I have such high anxiety that the emotional abuse is nearly pushing me over the edge. Both were quite close to each other's families. One woman even admitted that at her wedding ceremony, she felt a strong desire to run away and have sex with her former boyfriend. I was eerily calm and asked 3 questions. Our family is united behind me. Those whom I have actually been communicating with have been incredible. I needed to tell it. But even in my lucid moments, I am still shocked to my core at how I came to be here. Overall good, possibly life saving. He was being very nice and we were even intimate. Until a week or so later when he wasnt sure. Good luck to you and keep posting here. The wayward spouse knows the train is coming, the other person knows the train is coming, and the soon-to-be betrayed spouse is completely unaware. We go to church every Sunday and are involved members and leaders of our church. I feels like Im getting there but it is a slow haul. That was my bad. Too much onus on me the BS to pony up and be the good, responsible player even though Im the victim and falling apart. I am still wary but for the first time, I actually felt some truth in the statement and I watched him and tried to feel what he was saying rather than listen to the verbal word salad. In many cases, the explanation involves a combination of these reasons. yes I do. Somebody(!) Does it mean your marriage is over? That was a red flag but I cant prove anything. Most of all, I felt smothered by the darkness and utter hopelessness that I felt about the future. https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/10668-the-one-thing-no-one-ever-says-about-grieving. How long did it take to get back to some kind of normal? But from a sky-high view he is digging his own hole. Cannot believe these people exist who do this kind of criminal stuff you describe? Never stop being you. You are my beautiful girrrrrlll. Thats something I have been afraid to look at deeply. Thank you TheFirstWife and TryingHard for the lovely replies. Ive struggled with how little he cares. I dont talk to any friends about this Now!!! They revert to toddler behavior IMO. He supports me booking in to a program as he said it will give me some space and time for proper recovery. And on and on it goes.with the stupidity, Satori. I know that I certainly tried to be the voice of reason..but It all became so muddled. I was only on it for about a year. BSA, I acknowledge and respect your complaint and respect your opinions and your perspectives. She said sorry but I just made a cup of coffee. I may have a chance to stay in my M. But these people are all consumed in self interest and they are not giving H sane positive rational advice. Business first. If you want to keep waiting on the Lord that is your choice. Threaten to dissolve the business. Its like all his feelings for me are locked up in a box in his head. Puzzled you write: I stated months ago I believe there is another cultural layer to your story if infidelity. In his journey down the cheating rabbithole, the worst kind of choices by my H were made over and over again. My Dad was shocked I think. in the end, when he felt I was pressuring him about the dinner H stormed off AGAIN,??? Physically, emotionally, spiritually you name it. Its like giving a dog a treat every time he does a trick the expectation is that every time he does the trick he will be rewarded. Maybe their marriage wasnt perfect but he cheating was no excuse. My first push back was three weeks after DDay1. Second wife just ghosted me from the beauty shopafter 22 years and no warning. I have spent time relating to those who do choose to speak up. Lets do it ourselves without lawyers, lets just let go gently and start again with our lives. So I noticed that every time I tried to distance myself he would take notice and try and do something nice. Ive been piecing together some sort of strategy but stopped short of going super hard as yet. I still had not found EAJ. I still wanted to kill him and trust me Ive used that line a few times just for the fun of it! I dont know whether he is typical or just de-volving into the worst kind of person. Yes I am very familiar with that gut punched feeling. I cant really say that I agree with you regarding the language. If there were ever a reason to grieve it has got to be the loss of love. Speaking of the A, H 100% confirmed it was over yesterday and she is not even in my phone and when I looked skeptical, he offered it to me to check. Your best is absolutely enough. Sounds like your trip helped you with that. Stay mentally and physically strong. What just happened? Im not doing so well even though I wish I could say I was Divorce is one thing. and now the rose colored glasses are off. I dont care what people say or what rationale they use. So much so that on the actual days he had started sleeping with this person, even though I was in another country I felt something for a couple of days, was very teary and emotional for absolutely no reason. He may want to R but it may be beyond his capabilities for whatever reason. We are here for you.we all need to tell our story. And when we are hurt by their actions, want to talk about our life together or confront them on their behavior, they simply dismiss our feelings as if we are unworthy. But kind of like you dont see who someone is nor what they are capable of until they are put into high stress situations, I had only ever seen him as easy going and loyal, calm, quiet etc. I may never get that closure from her. Up until now hes been getting a lot of misinformation from non professional resources i.e. I dont think I could navigate my way out of a paper bag in my current state, so kudos for taking on NoCal.
I believe people who abandon marriages are either overt or covert narcissists. I was done being nice. She also called 911, declaring in a frantic voice that she had been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic man and a Caucasian woman in their 40s driving a blue van. It was the only time I felt safe, by myself. We each have to find what works for us and if this site is to offensive than one needs to find another site that works for them. Up until that time my h was riding the frightened ambivalent fence. Men like mysterious. This is a living HELL and its hard not to get dragged down into our own pit. Kind of Alien vs Predator ultimate combat where OW vs American Psycho battle which takes out two villains since that would be a duel to the death and the world is infinitely a better place accordingly. H: Yes I know, but you wont trust me again. The stuff with the inlaws is just NOISE!!! This is NOT part of my culture or upbringing or marital contractual agreement. It was actually good to read through and see how far we have come. Not a text but a phone call. And DDay2 is when the control in our relationship came back to me. My dog is the only thing keeping me here. You see if he went to MC he would have to fess up everything. Im glad if I can help someone in that way. The events I write of were recorded in a family journal, but my great, great-grandmothers perspective on why she did this will never be known. The decision that I made worked for me but it wasnt the approach that most probably have taken. Im not sure how long you been with your husband or if kids are involved. She was scared of me until the day she died just last month! I am so sorry for you. Theres a great article in Psychology Today about the allure of secret forbidden relationships. I seem to be swimming through treacle day after day. Just go ahead and imagine the worst because anything short of leave me alone is the worst. No one can set that timeline except for you. And NO none of you know the REAL me. It is the hardest thing ever, very painful and many harsh truths about ourselves need to be faced. I dont like taking anything thats not natural but I am desperate for unconsciousness and living on the edge. When I looked at the list in the article though, there were so many things on it that relate to this betrayal (loss of dream, divorce etc) it worried me a lot. Years ago there were so many rituals to grief which I believed helped the grievers set the pace for their grief, i.e. Not that I can remember. No matter if the marriage ends or continues, there is a drastic change and a break in innocence.
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Current state, so I woukd disengage fact, you always were and will be a complete whether. Lot of affection shown towards us am now able to call it that ) to.That lack of response might be due to one or more of the following circumstances: Verizon screwed up and never got the message to me. I love LOVE your Skank Fever def! I am sure the OW has twisted him into a pretzel with her mind games etc. As I read your story it makes me shudder how ugly my own situation could have become if my husband had chosen the path of continuing contact with the OW.
And, sadly, he seems to be digging a deeper hole for himself. It is better for all concerned that I dont call OW. 5. My H did the same thing. His manipulation was always so subtle.it wasnt that I actually saw it that I am now able to call him on it.
I am not the addict, my H is. Satori. I know you dont have the answers A or no A his behavior is odd. What a crock of bull on the unhappy for years statement! And then break. You must have done a lot of running to get through it. The other blogs etc that Ive seen are sites contain good info, some are forums but if youre not 100% sure then they can seem overwhelming. [latin Skankis feveri. Could be 100% the A or other factors. Of course your husband is worried that you will have him on lock down and that you will never trust him again. Can one really have 2 midlife crisis?? I don;t know how I would react if my H had come to tell me honestly he wanted to end it because I still think out of respect for the vows you should at least give things a chance (i mean Id have settled for even 3 months of working on it, let alone 3 years that your friend gave his W, TFW). It is our business. Spousal Abandonment Syndrome is different from a traditional affair in several ways. I dont know what would have happened to my well being if he had not. I swear to God my dog vastly improves my life and my mood. ! Um yeah thats exactly what I should do, with my unbathed self, dirty hair, and week old pajamas. People think the spouse is responsible for their happiness. Nothing too scary yet. I still think our greatest power is in our own actions and responseswe really cant make anyone do anything but we can certainly make our own choices. MIL texted him in the middle of our meeting she didnt tell him she had seen me (!!!) Also: mojitos. 2010-2019 Emotional Affair Journey. Sad part is you are dealing with an OW who is a bottom feeder. I know it hurts and I am very sorry. They have got to vilify us otherwise they are bad people. I am authentic and real. If people dont know who they are they truly mirror whoever they are around. SI My great, great-grandmother continued to walk silently into the river and finally turned around to speak to her stunned daughter. My H has never used drugs or drank to excess (except once and I believe that event was the pre-cursor to his A). It is hard to understand and make sense of it all. And seeing the path my ex has gone done whether due to mental illness or what ever it may be, I see what is opposite of embracing God thru her actions. Maybe you can plan another soon. Still getting the ptsd symptoms, but Im soldiering on. ! Oh boy. She has you, I assume your childrens daddy, her home intact and her lover.
But some things are just not our job to fix. He drove me to the office and I retrieved them.
The 180 is not for him but for you to distance yourself from him and his drama. She had hardened her heart and closed herself off from me. Get some perspective. Yeah my h was that certain age where he was possibly feeling all that old age stuff. When I hung on the Cross, you were on my mind. And by the way, my wife didnt come home one night. He cant find that so he rationalizes to chuck it all. Do not let your H blame you for his A. I dont know if I could ever reconcile with someone who just disappears like that. She did nothing. I asked if it was HER and he said yes. Ah yes TH, the crying on planes thing. This in about two weeks from when he left me. Almost everytime I have shared a bit about my own grief,afterwards someone will come and share their grief with me. She made her choices, over and over again, she made those choices. We had another 2 hour walk with our dog with coffees and even a swim. Yes, I hope he is not a monster too. Which probably scares the shit out of her because his stupid little tricks are probably going to cost her something financially and fuck now he might end up on her payroll again in some way. I believe her betrayal has been some time ago and now she is into reading books by eastern philosophers etc and that is just not my interest. Its so clearly involuntary and whenever I even suggest to him I am trying to get inside his head he gets so annoyed as if he doesnt want me to go there, probably because HE doesnt want to go there himself. Ive seen guys go in and empty out the house when the wives were gone. I told him I dont want to date anyone Im married to you. I know that you make a great positive impact on many people out there. And if they ask you how you are you smile and say fine. 4. Day was night would that make it true?? Im not singling out men. Your post is on point. Took up entering marathons Just a little trivia thanks to npr.org]. She was an expert manipulator because when I finally woke up and started to call her out, she played the victim perfectly and turned others to her side. Groucho Marx. Just looooove love love the freedom. You cut off the visit as you have a meeting elsewhere. For me, all speech is allowed as long as someone is not viciously attacking another member here. But little by little these legal matters wake these people up. And then it is done.
Why are you leaving your well being and your future up to the whims of a person who has betrayed, lied and cheated on you? 50-50! No fight. It meant something to me as well.took me months to get over it and fall asleep beside him. D is hard.
Previous to DDay we were talking about developing it into another business and I was going to manage it. But that might be a bit too Eat, Pray Love LOL Hey, wasnt Elizabeth Gilbert a cheater? You dont think hes going to blame himself do you??? There just didnt seem to be any indicators and Im intuitive. My one wish if I could go back in time would be to have told my H to leave in the first 2 weeks after dDay1. Letting the affair play out. Take your trip. Give your new therapist some time. Marry.