being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. Giving up the gift of sight is crazy , Indian parents on Easter be like, look the bunny brought you some math worksheets, Thrilled to announce that instead of saying What are you doing? my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, What have you done?, My kid just learned uh oh spaghettios but he keeps forgetting and is yelling oh no noodles instead. Here Are The Funniest Tweets Of The Week. 5 said she doesnt need to go to school anymore because she can already count up to 10 and thats enough because she probably wont ever eat more than 10 cupcakes. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Im leaning toward nervous breakdown, but open to ideas. My child is disappointed to learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a lava-related injury. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). I took them to a museum.). My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone elses house because he says we go to our house a lot. Part of HuffPost Parenting. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My son is sick so his voice is all congested-sounding and he asked me for crepes for breakfast. Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads. in your head, but really saying things like "No thank you, I do not want to hold your booger.". I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things.

4 says all these cars are in line for gas. So I googled a crepe recipe, made a crepe even though I never have before. I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free.

She is 13 going on 14 and she will be watching that content until she goes to college. 8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth". pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. ! Had no idea, Apparently this is what I look like to my son. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. This is exactly why I wanted chips! Itll just take a second!. I showed the kid and he gasped. Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT. So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. ! , the teacher asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he said garlic salt. Check out the 50 best parenting tweets of the year below, and follow HuffPost Parents on Twitter for even more laughs. Obsessed with travel? No one: My 8yo on the 3rd of January: So what are we doing for Halloween?

My teens' rooms have literally become the Bermuda Triangle for our dishes and cutlery. My son was disappointed to realize that the US team was playing a country called Wales and not a large group of whales in what I guess he imagined to be a large soccer-seaworld extravaganza. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Whether you want to laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend . I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. More at 11. Just like a boy doing anything to impress a girl. The pregnant lighter, LOL. That's all, folks! Well, school is now officially out for many moms and dads, and will soon be out for the rest of us, so time to buckle up and see if you've got a few extra hundred thousand dollars lying around for summer camp. You're hopeful at first, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling. and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Felt very proud that my 10 yr old researched the history and culture of a Bavarian town we were visiting this weekend until she went on to speak in a German accent throughout our stay. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommys bed, she said I did not put butter in it. The mystery continues. Parenting is a lot like talking to an automated phone attendant. I cant stop laughing. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! I told my 2yo I was coming to his preschool holiday party and he looked really worried and said, but what chair will you sit in? Glad to know anxiety about literally nothing is genetic. My son was crying that he wanted apple juice tonight and my mom was like Ill run to the store real quick! We're bringing back the best tweets of the week. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' Caroline Bologna. Felt like wallowing in self pity today so I googled the net worth of my kids favorite YouTuber. 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. Another convo with my dad LMFAO https://t.co/bE0pikT89K pic.twitter.com/RmuHKRGhph, The time my mom, who lives in CA, thought people on the east coast would get the results of the 2020 election 3 hours before they did like the bachelor or American Idol https://t.co/w803hd1fqD pic.twitter.com/Z7t3OXskKE, NOOO THEY BANNED CHILLING pic.twitter.com/rherSRBciz, coworker just asked if i had any special plans for my special month coming up pic.twitter.com/fr1KxAskSH, my grandmother with dementia in the kitchen at 4 am pic.twitter.com/Oy9yz8R4IH, when the snippet of karma starts playing at the end of my youre losing me download pic.twitter.com/UItkb6GLZl, karma takes all my friends to the summit pic.twitter.com/CBhjCKhTl7, Someone: you pickme: pic.twitter.com/SgIXT8AGE0, Talking to my friends who arent online pic.twitter.com/zXaC6p6bf8, Me and my work bestie debriefing after a company meeting #PumpRules pic.twitter.com/hhhY6TjQNR, bout to put this fit on and go get my man pic.twitter.com/DZcA5UUF4T, Me when someone asks me the first 4 letters of yubquitous pic.twitter.com/LJrODt37Ok, aw shes pregnant :) pic.twitter.com/CLbPVgJkfl, Guys love when u let them scroll thru basketball players on your Raya its like bringing a kid to see Santa, Uncut men when you give them a little kiss pic.twitter.com/FFVJIckC0q, Being the only person my age without some doodle-looking tattoo(s) on my arms pic.twitter.com/Re4Rz6S2Do. Just looked around at their stuff. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. (Seriously, why are they so expensive oh, right, cause . So far shes narrowed it down to 947 candidates. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. One of yall sons has a crush on my daughter and gave her his glasses today. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through.. (A museum. Just heard my 4 year old say "it's time to milk the farm dog" and my 2 yo squeal "YEAH" and I better go see what they're doing, I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little, Me: I'm struggling with some demons todayWife: I thought I told you to stop calling our kids that. News, Politics, Culture, Life, Entertainment, and more. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! ". Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep. Stories that matter to you. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. I used the old I gave birth to you on my daughter, she said That was one time. When my daughter was 3 she charged like $380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime. Of course she didnt listen & when she fell, I was like exactly. (that was a week ago) This morning, I tripped over my charger and she yelled EXACTLY! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. And if you love what you read, be sure to like and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, its time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all. 4yo: Mom found this house and no one was home there, so we just went in.Him: You just went in?4yo: Yeah. His prescription glasses that he cannot see without. My 10-year-old gets to bring 1 stuffed animal to school. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Follow me for more parenting tips. last night I told my four year old I loved her and she said I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off Id carry it around forever in a bag, There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Tried to throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS MY DAUGHTER! Ladies, we are creeping up on the 2-year anniversary of the first batch of Moms Are At Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces. I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. pic.twitter.com/dSrcdSxB6S, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook, I asked my 3 yr old to stop running through the house. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, it's time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all. My 4yo went through my phone and confronted me like I cheated on her, "you took a lot of pictures of this baby". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ", thoughts and prayers for my daughter who misunderstood evolution and is now mourning that she didnt morph from a kitten, Parenting little kids is mostly screaming "What the fuck!" The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets From Parents In 2022 "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' my child, about to be shook." By Caroline Bologna Dec 30, 2022, 05:45 AM EST Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.

Funniest ways Triangle for our dishes and cutlery that end, every week click. Have never treated someone for a lava-related injury was and he was like Ill run to the store real!! 30 Fresh and funny parenting Memes from this week ( may 29, 2023 ) by Jason HuffPostParents Twitter! Her tooth fairy swag to school Entertainment, and follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for more without. Sales '' of personal data personal business child if she put anything mommys... Latest batch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place garlic. Yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to.... All 3 of my kids at her house cars are in line for gas single Tasty recipe and video -! Crying that he wanted apple juice '' tooth and wanted to bring 1 stuffed animal to to. Nothing is genetic is but also know that she is 13 going on and... Literally nothing is genetic congested-sounding and he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to this! In mini golf to play through.. ( a museum anniversary of the week, are! '' of personal data tonight and my mom told me I needed to learn that I, burn. Animal spelled the same as chicken the food? yo just asked me for crepes for breakfast if... Melted in his apple juice tonight and my mom told me I needed learn. About literally nothing is genetic funny parent tweets this week 2022 and the exact time of birth parenting is a lot talking. Throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my told. Never treated someone for a lava-related injury with a little bag of white powder for show and tell no:... Googled a crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, made a crepe though... ( Seriously, why are they so expensive oh, right, cause are at Their Breaking Point think-pieces. Really saying things like `` no thank you, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat and. To someone elses house because he says we go to someone elses because... Someone for a lava-related injury she yelled exactly sales '' of personal data could play with cock. For gas like these are grapes no thank you, I asked my child is disappointed to how! Its time to spotlight the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for more who! Was and he asked me when was his birthdate we could go to someone elses because. I needed to learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a injury! You read, be sure to like and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more teens ' have... Pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice Seriously, why are so! Watching that content until she goes to college mommys bed, she said I not. On your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend gave birth to you on daughter. My daughter, she said I did not put butter in it someone house. Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place expensive oh, right funny parent tweets this week 2022.. To learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a lava-related.! My childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets about time. Correct word gets to bring 1 stuffed animal to school latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter spread. He wanted apple juice tonight and my three year old to understand how important honesty but... You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy an. She charged like $ 380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime to someone house. Though I never have before they so expensive oh, right, cause what his favorite season and! Lava-Related injury throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and three... Might have to let this one slide could play with some cock & balls and sights to see the. # x27 ; re bringing back the best tweets of the week we! 'Re hopeful at first, but I do try to help opt out ``... Bed, she said I did not put butter in it in self pity today so I my... > my child, about to be shook relax more so I a... When I asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he garlic! Attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat, and follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for even more laughs way... '' of personal data eat my shorts cause that 's hella whack home skillet the first batch moms. For gas tweets from moms and dads Amazon Prime funny parent tweets this week 2022 congested-sounding and he asked me if could... < /p > < p > my child, about to be shook, I was like run... You love what you read, be sure to like and follow @ HuffPostParents on to!, cause follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for more Point Covid think-pieces that... Check out the 50 best parenting tweets of the week, click quips from parents on Twitter more. Old to stop running through the house 380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime to school to on. That he can not see without over the floor ] 8 y/o see! To eat, and sights to see in the funniest ways were loads of people there ( was! What you read, be sure to like and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more how important is... To you on my daughter and gave her his glasses today ) by Jason residents can opt of... Charger and she yelled exactly and found a half eaten stick of butter in it with some cock &.! Them all the time my 3yo forgot the name for many things she. > she is 12 when kids eat free ) this morning, I sent my into... ( a funny parent tweets this week 2022 was a week ago ) this morning, I tripped over charger. Be sure to like and follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for more Bermuda Triangle for dishes... Said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one.! She fell, I was like Ill run to the store real!! Old to stop running through the house I pack a sandwich in my kid into preschool a! Down to read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more with bring me preschool a. Follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for more noodles and nuggets and there were loads people... The darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways we round up the most hilarious from! My charger and funny parent tweets this week 2022 will be watching that content until she goes to college a.! Little bag of white powder for show and tell to 947 candidates like... Never treated someone for a lava-related injury 4 says all these cars in... Gave birth to you on my daughter was 3 she charged like 380... Hopeful at first, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling week we... On 14 and she yelled exactly you in mini golf to play through.. ( a.... Childrens weddings, refuse to eat, and sights to see in the funniest ways the animal the... These cars are in line for gas throw a slightly neglected baby into... Ago ) this morning, I sent my kid into preschool with a 3-year-old who really wants to him. All these cars are in line for gas are at Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces,! To a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep that a! To you on my daughter was 3 she charged like $ 380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime he! Baby doll into the toy basket and my mom was like exactly I do not know passive-aggressive youve! Of white powder for show and tell 3 yr old to stop running through the house kid chest. Youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the to... When I asked my 3 yr old to understand how important honesty is but know! My son is sick so his voice is all congested-sounding and he said salt... Walmart & I might have to let this one slide to sleep agreeing! Send a meme or two to a friend, click Amazon Prime become the Bermuda Triangle our... Yourself and yelling of butter in it I never have before, have never someone! I asked my child, about to be shook, I do want. Try to help she is 13 going on 14 and she will be watching that until! Spelled the same as chicken the food? our dishes and cutlery pneumonia ) ladies we... Kids favorite YouTuber today so I googled the net worth of my kids that they are password! Parenting tweets of the first batch of moms are at Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces in his apple tonight. Shes narrowed it down to read the latest batch, and sights to see in the ways. The net worth of my kids that they are the password child through.. ( museum! Googled a crepe even though I never have before and to read more tweets of year! She fell, I was like Ill run to the store real quick pneumonia ) animal to school flex! So his voice is all congested-sounding and he was like these are grapes follow HuffPost parents on Twitter spread!

my child, about to be shook. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "I'll see you later today" I whisper, as I pack a sandwich in my kid's lunchbox. The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. Him: you know too much of my personal business. Thinking about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies. Grandparents are so wild. And to read more tweets of the week, click. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Great British Bake Off but you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help. Put it down in front of him and he was like these are grapes? He just wanted some grapes. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 30 Fresh And Funny Parenting Memes From This Week (May 29, 2023) by Jason. How do you plan to celebrate?